Sex or Internet Addiction

People with addiction find that they have thoughts that appear extreme in frequency or they feel completely out of control. Clients come to me with certain types of behaviour such as:

• frequent casual sex, multiple affairs when you're in a relationship or high-risk sex
• Excessive use of pornography
• Feeling worried about the possible behaviour
• Wanting to stop or change your sexual behaviour
• Feeling unable to stop, despite wanting to
• Using sex as a way to cope with other problems
• Needing more sex to get the same fulfilment
• Feeling very low or guilty after
• Spending large amounts of time planning or engaging in sex
• Missing important social events or even work in order to pursue sex

Admitting there is a problem and stepping forward is a major hurdle to start with. The therapy is about finding out how the addictions started and what affects it is having. Addiction is complex, everyones path is different. And it is important that the space is confidential and non judgemental. We also exam the beliefs that may have built up over time and see which ones are helpful or not. Then it is looking at what small step can be taken for changing the behaviour. We also have to mindful that it can be two steps forward and a step back, but it is then about recommitting on the road for change. We work a lot with gaining confidence, being able to be assertive, learning to deal with situations and stress. It is important to look at your support network to help with growing and changing. Then there is also the matter of what will you then fill your time with.